Throughout my teens I was never really comfortable with the way I looked. When all the other girls my age seemed to be wearing skinny jeans and ballet pumps of course I wanted to aswell. The problem was my heels don’t touch the floor so wearing slip on shoes is kind of impossible as they just fall off. Scoliosis causes my hips to align at a weird angle making most types of jeans uncomfortable I chose to stick to wearing leggings.
Makeup was a touchy point since I was having to use a breathing machine via a mask until I was 18, as a result my nose was constantly sore plus the mask would just rub it all off so I didnt bother with it unless a friend did it for me. I wanted to be like everyone else copying the styles that other girls were wearing as best I could although it never felt right.My self esteem was at a low. Going out I would be paranoid that people were staring and laughing.
In 2012 I had my tracheostomy and my face was finally free, now makeup became more of a possibility. My friend would help me do my face whenever she came round and I’d watch how she did things.Fast forward to last year when my friend spent some time away and I was left without my main makeup artist.
I started to learn how to do it myself and I actually enjoyed it. I began wearing clothes that I liked instead of what everyone else was wearing (I finally found jeans that were comfortable hallelujah!) and became happier with myself and with the way I looked.
Truthfully It wasn’t the makeup or the clothes that changed me it was discovering myself after all those years of trying to be like everyone else. It was settling into my own skin. I’m more happy within myself although i’m not “normal” i’m me and thats okay because I happen to be kind of awesome!
It’s taken me eight years to realise that I don’t have to look like everyone else to be happy,being me is good enough. I still have the odd day but so does everyone. You’re only given one body in this life. If you don’t embrace the one you’ve got how can you ever truly be happy?
I’ve finally found a me that I like and I’m so very happy to be her.
Daniella x x