I’m writing this whilst sitting in the dark on my phone because my brain is refusing to shut down and let me sleep. But sometimes I can write whole blog posts in my head whilst suffering with insomnia yet I never write them down due to forgetting everything in the morning. So tonight I have decided to write it all down before it dissapears from my head.
Scrolling through my weheartit feed a few minutes ago I came across a bunch of traveling pictures and it triggered my urge to get away. It hit me so hard that I wanted to cry because I’m the type of person that would love to do that. I’ve often talked about my lifelong dreams of traveling from country to country which is what I can imagine I would be doing right now if I was “normal” I’ve spoken of “chasing the sun” and returning home only to spend Birthdays and holidays with my family.
I’ve been asked how I know that I’d like this sort of life when the furthest I’ve ever been is Paris? I know because for as long as I can remember it’s what I’ve wanted to do. When I was a child I would plan it out in my head and dream of eveything I wanted to do. I still dream about it now. It’s a yearning to get up and go that is embedded into my skin, it flares up particularly when I think of spending the rest of my life in one place. I honestly don’t understand how you can live your whole life in the same house or town?
Maybe it’s the way I’m programmed I get bored very easily especially when I’m in one place too long. When it hits me I feel trapped. Trapped in this house, trapped in this chair, trapped in this body.Because I so long for that freedom. I can see it perfectly in my mind that life of adventure and independence. A life in which I could just keep going until I chose to stop. Don’t get me wrong I know it wouldn’t be exactly like that, but it’s my dream and a dream can be anything you want it to be can’t it?
Having Wanderlust,but knowing you will never get to wander is like being a bird with a broken wing. Forced to stay in one place even though you’re pre programmed to just keep flying.
Daniella x x